Flawed Body Rock Read online

  Encouraged by how I was helplessly rubbing against him, legs trembling, Drezden bent low and stole a kiss. The discussion was over; perhaps there was no reason to have one. If he had been giving me an out, I'd missed it. Was he going to just fuck me anyway? I wondered in a daze.

  Teeth cut against my earlobe. “You really want this, don't you?” he whispered.

  All I could manage was a tiny squeak.

  His chuckle was sinful, driving my senses higher. Easily, he hooked his fingers into the top of my underwear. The air was cool against my melting pussy.

  I couldn't see anything but Drez's temple, his hair tickling my nose. He must have pushed his briefs out of the way, for the smooth, glorious weight of his cock bounced against my belly. “Tell me you want me to fuck you,” he taunted, speaking against my throat.

  Holy shit. My heart swelled, matching his dick's reaction. “I want—”

  “Say my name when you beg me.” Rolling his thighs, he bumped my pulsing clit.

  I was lost in a sea of wild lust. Digging my nails into his lower back, I tried to force him into me. I was distantly aware of him stiffening apprehensively at where I touched, but I'd let myself forget why that could even be. “Drezden, I want you to fuck me!”

  “Say please.”

  I assumed he was kidding. When he froze over me, painfully still, leaving me writhing in aching defeat, I shouted. “Please, please! Just—fuck me already, please!”

  Groaning long and low, the singer shoved himself inside. There was a hint of soreness, I hadn't recovered since he'd stolen my virginity last night. But like then, whatever sharp pain existed was muted by my slippery bundle of desperateness. Drezden owned my senses.

  And, hell, I wanted him to.

  Delirium left its seed in my brain. The roots grew, tickled down my ribs, my stomach, left their mark in my rich blood. I was made of nothing but liquid passion. Just breathing made my insides embrace his fattening cock. There was no escape from the presence that was Drezden.

  A hot spot of color dazzled in my vision. The sound of my screams reached me, turning my excitement to a peak.

  Then Drezden's voice crept into my skull. His gritty, rasping moans.

  That was what slammed me over the edge of bliss.

  My heat boiled over before I felt it tipping. Drezden squeezed my hips, held me steady while he pounded into my convulsing pussy. It was lightning, I was lightning. I'd never finished as fast as that, not on my own, not otherwise.

  Whining with the overwhelming pleasure, I cried out harder as Drez abruptly pulled free. My muscles grabbed for him, tried to trap him inside, but he was too strong. In the fog of my mind, I didn't grasp why he'd abandoned me.

  Hot, sticky seed spilled on my stomach. Over me, Drezden growled during his release. I caught a glimpse of his cock, angry and red, his fist holding it tight over my skin. Fear and delirious excitement flooded my acutely-aware body.

  He almost came inside of me. Too many thoughts slammed into my skull, sobering me by the end. I shouldn't have let that happen, fuck. Did I want him that bad, that I'd risk that?

  Of course I knew the answer.

  Sitting up, Drez looked me in the eye. There was no glimmer of fear there. “You're thinking that was stupid, aren't you.”

  Biting my lip, I gave a steady nod. “It was stupid, Drezden.”

  Considering me with serious eyes, I watched his half-smile return. “I guess it was. You're just—never mind.”

  I'm just what? I wished he'd finished his thought.

  Standing, he brought me back some tissues from the small side table. “I'll make sure not to be caught without protection next time.”

  A jolt of pure adrenaline settled in me. Next time.

  I loved the sound of that.

  ****

  We'd struggled—or perhaps it was just me—for two days. I'd pushed back on every single tempting craving Drezden caused. I'd worked so fucking hard to not buckle at his voice, his smell, or his touch.

  Now, I couldn't keep my hands off of him.

  In the elevator, we kissed without a hint of shame. If I thought I was addicted, Drezden was truly obsessed. Like frost his lips stuck to mine, heated blood melting them enough so he could bite. In the mirrors, I saw my snowy neck was red and purple. This man, this impossible man, he wanted to mark me from head to toe.

  But I want that. I want him to brand me.

  The knowledge of my desire rippled in my core. Could I really be okay with such a display of wanton lust? The world would see me and know I belonged to Drezden Halifax.

  Yes. I think I'm pretty damn okay with that.

  We stumbled out of the elevator, the air of the lobby fresh, bursting with the promise of a wonderful day. Standing in the white light, Brenda's features were bound tight as a watch spring.

  Drezden was right. She didn't like that twenty minutes we stole.

  Marching up to us, our manager jerked her head towards the door. “Hurry up and get in the bus, Drez.” It was a simple command. Looking upwards, I spotted the casual shrug Drezden gave her. It was brief, his long legs pacing him out of the hotel.

  “Brenda,” I started, fingers crushing my guitar case. What do I even say?

  She spared me the attempt at anything. “We'll talk in my ride.”

  “I—your ride?” My feet quit on me, leaving me standing in the parking lot. Around us, the whole area had been blocked off. The tour bus was parked right by the curb, security creating a wall across the pavement. We'd caused a hiccup in the schedule, there was no reason to bring the bus right to the hotel—where hungry fans could swarm and cause chaos—otherwise.

  Brenda stepped in front of me, studying my confusion. “Correct. You're riding with me for a bit.”

  “No, she isn't.” The singer perched on the bottom step of the bus. I saw the look in his eyes I now knew all too well. It was the same as when Brenda had pleaded with him about having my promo photos taken.

  Snagging up my bag and guitar case, Brenda stomped towards Drezden. “Oh yes, she is.” I covered my mouth, stunned at the way she thrust the luggage into him hard enough to make him stumble back on the stairs. Behind him, I spotted Porter and Colt. Their faces shifted from amusement, to discomfort when they saw me.

  And what are they thinking? Chewing my bottom lip just wore it more raw. They know about last night, about Drez and me. Are they angry, disgusted? What?

  Drezden pushed the bags behind him, moving to follow after Brenda as she returned to me. “I said she isn't! Why does she need to go with you?”

  “Drez, man, calm down,” Colt muttered. The lanky man gripped Drez's upper arm, but the singer shoved him off.

  Brenda blocked me from the group's eyes. “One, you guys keep complaining about food on the bus. I'm going to get some shopping done. And two...” She never blinked as she stared me down, yet her words were for all of us. “Lola and I need to talk.”

  Warily, I fiddled with my messy hair under all the attention. She made me cringe, made me shrink. Brenda was too much like my intimidating mother. I'd left home to get away from tactics like this.

  Swallowing down the acid that rose, I reminded myself that Brenda was not my parents. “What if I don't want to go with you?”

  She'd only gripped her hips at my question, but it was a silent snarl in my ears. “Believe me.” Amazingly, I noticed something akin to sympathy in those soft brown eyes. “You want to come with me, Lola.”

  It wasn't much of a stand-off. Brushing around her, I met Drez's gaze. His greens welled with satisfaction the closer I got to him. It pained me to destroy his assumption that he'd won. Standing on the bottom step, I spoke into his ear. “I'm riding with Brenda, Drez. I think it might smooth some of this—last night—over.”

  His grimace was sharp as arctic grass. It made no sense when he curled his warmth around me, lips clasping on mine and driving my brain blank. It was too long and wildly short, all at once.

  Thumbing my chin, Drezden stared at me with mild frustrati
on. My ears were still ringing when he sighed. “Fine. Give me your phone.”

  Everything moved sluggishly. I saw the way Colt and Porter were staring at us, saw how Drez didn't care one bit about them. Somehow my phone was in my palm, then in Drez's fingers. “Are you giving me your number?” I asked, blushing over such a normal thing. It's because it's so normal. People usually do that before they—well.

  His nod was quick. “Call me if anything happens.”

  “Like what?” Taking back my phone, I held it tight and enjoyed the warmth he'd left on its surface.

  He squeezed the edge of the door. Every fiber in his limb twitched beautifully. “It doesn't matter what. If you need to call me, for any reason you can come up with, just do it.”

  I didn't notice I was smiling until my face ached. The moment was shattered by Colt, his shaved head pressing in close beside Drez's. “Hey, you want my number too? I might not get as lonely as Drez, but I do love hearing a woman's voice.”

  “Hey, whoa,” Porter scoffed. His beefy shoulders squeezed into the doorway of the bus, shoving the singer out further. “I thought you only liked when I called you, man! Fuck this, you trying to make me jealous?”

  “Who'd try to make you jealous?” Colt snapped, waving a hand side to side. He hit Drez's nose in the process, ignoring the man's grunt as he kept talking over him and at Porter. “Have you even brushed your teeth yet this morning?”

  “That hurts, man.” The bassist frowned as deep as he could, eyes shutting. “Right in the heart. Damn.”

  The ball of fear that had been hatching in me like a rotten egg... it dissipated. They're trying to make me laugh, aren't they? These guys, these ridiculously talented guys, they wanted me to see they weren't angry at me. Whatever had happened last night, they were doing their best to show me nothing had changed between all of us.

  They were my band last night when we played together; when they witnessed, assisted even, in my birth to rock-stardom.

  And today, they were still here for me.

  Brenda tugged me backwards, clearly exasperated. “Could you guys not help in making us even more late? Get on the bus, get going. We'll meet up with you later.”

  Shrugging her off, I flashed my band a smile and waved. “See you all after!”

  “Make sure she buys some fruit!” Porter shouted, so close to Drez's ear that the singer grimaced.

  Shoving Porter into the bus, the man I'd fallen so far for looked after me. “Remember what I said.” His hand reached down, patting his pocket.

  In answer, I dug my phone out and gave it a small shake. Yes, I thought with a stupid smile, I'll call him if anything comes up.

  Anything at all.

  ****

  The wind felt wonderful as we sped down the highway. The silence in the car, however, did not. Brenda had commandeered a hatchback, telling an assistant who'd been following the crew's bus to go ride inside, instead.

  Now, as my manager tore down the blacktop with every window open and the breeze screaming in our ears, I waited for her to say... something. For someone so insistent on getting me alone, she's been patiently biding her time.

  Abruptly the windows went up. The noise was suctioned away; I missed it dearly. It was all that had been keeping things from becoming fully awkward. I wished for its return while Brenda's words spat free. “So. What the hell were you thinking last night?”

  “Excuse me?” I twisted, squinting at her stoic profile as she watched the road. Alright. No warmup. She wants to jump right in.

  “You know what I'm talking about, Lola.”

  Of course I knew. But with such a blunt question, how could I answer? I'd been running through the steps all day. Since waking up, I'd been wondering what had led me down the path to make the choice I had last night. Every reason felt like static on my tongue. It wasn't possible to explain it to her. In what world could I try and express the insane pull that shoved me against Drezden Halifax?

  I opened my mouth, then closed it. Licking my lips didn't make speaking any easier. Still, with her suffocating, silent expectation, I had to try. “I don't know if 'thinking' is the right word.”

  “Well, at least you said it first.”

  I tightened my lips. “I mean, I did think about it. For a while I thought about it. I didn't... last night didn't happen because I wasn't thinking. It happened because I let myself go with my—” My what? Urges? Desires? My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.

  Brenda was keen to assist me. “Hormones?”

  Every bit of skin welled up to become pink. “No! Would you give me a break?”

  “I am giving you a break.” She changed lanes fast, pushing me deeper into my seat. “It might not seem like it, but this whole thing—Lola, I'm going easy on you for what happened.”

  “This is you being easy?” Scratching my scalp, I forced a tiny smile. “Tell me why you're so pissed off.”

  “I'm sorry, was it not obvious?” Brenda sped up, making me expect police sirens any second. “I thought you were smart. Did you not think for one minute about how badly this could go? About how easy it would be for you two to mess up and tear this band apart?”

  My brows crinkled, nearly becoming one line. “That's all I thought about since the start.” She shot me a sideways look, then eyed the road again. “Brenda, I really did consider all of that. Yeah, I'm not stupid, I know bands get ruined by breakups.”

  “Breakups!” Her burst of laughter was acrid. “Don't get ahead of yourself. You guys aren't even—are you serious? You and Drez had a drunken fling, that's all it was.”

  Squirming in my seat, I folded my arms. No. It was more than that. He kissed me this morning in front of everyone. He wants more than a fling.

  And so do I.

  My brooding silence stretched until Brenda cracked first. Her tone soothed, and I finally caught the hint of her exhaustion. “Sorry. That came out wrong. Let me ask you this. Knowing how this could freak out the fans, how it could make crazy people crazier, would you consider letting me hide this?”

  The question burned down into my belly. It made me forget I hadn't eaten that morning. In the side-mirror, I rubbed my neck where the stark bruises left by Drezden still lingered. Could this—us—be hidden? Would I want to erase it all?

  My hand fell from my throat. “I won't pretend nothing happened.”

  The sound Brenda made was a mixture of groan and snort. “I suspected as much. He said something similar when I told him I could bury what you two had done.”

  “Wait, he? Drezden?” Blinking, I watched as she pulled off the highway and down a curved exit ramp. The large, white building of a Super Mart grocery chain rose up before us.

  Gliding into a parking space, Brenda pulled two pairs of sunglasses from her fat purse. One of them was offered my way. “I think you're both going to regret this. At least you're in agreement on wanting the same thing, though. That's something. Put these on.”

  The dark glasses hid away my crystal-blue eyes. I was grateful that they also disguised the tired skin from my long night. “Drezden really said he didn't want to hide us away?” The knowledge pushed my heart into my ribs

  “He told me he wanted the whole world to know.” She saw my smile, met it with a worried frown. “I'm not going to lie. I think this whole thing between you two is going to go badly.” Shaking her head, she slid the glasses into place. Her voice was soft as she exited the car, talking more to herself than me. “I swear, this band gives me nothing but trouble. I should never have taken them on.”

  I wasn't listening. I was busy wandering in my head, relishing in what Brenda had told me.

  Drezden Halifax wanted the world to know about us.

  My heart was racing to prove it could beat faster, harder, and longer than any other heart in existence. Drezden really does want more than just a fling. Perhaps I'd felt the truth, maybe I'd only hoped. But now, walking in the burning sun under the clearest sky of blue I'd ever seen, I knew it truly.

  And I, who had already
felt the same, felt it even more.

  I wanted everyone to know about us. In the grocery store, I fought off the insane desire to run up to a counter and scream it through the intercom. Drezden was mine, mine, mine.

  And I was his.

  Most of the shopping went in a daze. Brenda, ever the organizer, had a list. We filled a cart to the brim with everything from coffee to cereal to the fruit Porter had demanded. It seemed like a lot of stuff, but thinking of the three men, it might have been too little.

  With our sunglasses, just the two of us, Brenda was convinced no one would recognize us. I was too new to the band, she was just the manager. Without a tour bus in the parking lot or security swarming, no one batted an eye our way.

  A familiar voice crackling from a television stuck to a wall pulled my attention. I knew those gritty lyrics too well to ignore them. On the screen, a news channel was playing shots from Four and a Half Headstones and the tour. At first, my reaction was blushing glee. The feed switched, showing police on another scene. I stopped in my tracks to stare.

  There, split lipped and haggard, was a man I'd managed to forget existed.

  Johnny Muse.

  He was being led away in cuffs, his teeth stained as he shouted. I'd never seen him so upset, so... broken. The time between being kicked out of the band and now, a time that felt so short to me, had left a lifetime of ruin on the former guitar player.

  He glared at the camera. It was a split second, unintentional as he was shoved into the vehicle. In that moment, his green eyes so similar to Drezden's raked over me. They scraped at my skull, my veins, and made me shiver.

  “Lola?” Brenda stood next to me, sunglasses hiding her expression. I didn't need to respond, she saw the television. Even in my grim fog, I could feel the distress wafting from her. “Oh, son of—is he really getting air time over this?” The phone was in her hand, long nails stabbing the buttons.

  My fingers ached when I squeezed them together. Something about seeing Johnny like that, faced with his sky-dive into destruction, was scaring me. This is what's happened to him since Drezden kicked him out. He's on the news for causing trouble, not to be praised or glorified. I swallowed around the sand in my throat. I've replaced him. Does he know that, has he seen me on stage? I knew he must have. I knew he'd seen me, playing with his former friends of just days ago.